Sunday, July 8, 2007

FTC OK's U.S. TAKEOVER

Today, in a long-awaited move, the Federal Trade Commission gave formal approval to the largest leveraged buyout in United States history when it OK'd the corporate takeover of the U.S. Government.

As you know, the U.S. Government paid for its takeover with a combination of tax cuts, no-bid contracts and privatization of government jobs, using tax money paid into the Treasury by working and middle class citizens.

FTC Chairman Nevile Bush Chamberlain acknowledged that the approval is largely symbolic, as the takeover, begun in earnest during Ronald Reagan's presidency, has progressed so far it would be pointless to object.

But, he pointed out, the FTC could find no potential violations of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act because "No one has trusted the United States for many years now".

Chamberlain also said he has received strong assurances that the completion of the takeover in a "seamless transition" would cause minimal disruption in the lives of peaceful citizens and that "no one who co-operates will be hurt".

"I'm very pleased", he said in closing, "for they are honorable men, and we can trust them to keep their word".

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