Cleaning House

Periodically, I find it necessary to purge my mind of little thought snippets and observations that creep in and keep bouncing around so that I can't focus on my real goal, which is dinner.

Here are a few bumper stickers I'd like to see:
1) IRAQ'S AREQ! (that's it in a nutsHell)
2)SADDAMIZE BUSH! ( either way you read it, he deserves it)
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George Bush--"His spirit is willing but his mind is weak".
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Summing up the Republican defense of Medicare Part D--"Doughnut holes are health food."
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Bush, explaining to Chris Matthews on Oddball why he didn't meet his National Guard obligations--" Had too much trouble with gunnery. Musta caught it six times. Docs warned me, so I had to quit. I think I still have it, but they tell me the drip's just post-nasal."
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Bush quote--" Freedoms on the march, and it definitely looks better from the back."
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There's something wrong with that "culture of corruption" label stuck on the Republicans. C'mon--the only way that bunch could get any culture would be to lick it off of a Petri dish.
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Now that the Republicans have successfully dismantled most of the regulations that protected us from the predations of large corporations and big-money financial interests, we truly know what it is like to "suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortunes".
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Next time some brainless "patriot" points to a flag and shouts "These colors don't run!", say, "No they don't, but they will vaporize, asshole".
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On that subject, an unnamed source from within the Defense Department has told me off the record that President Bush does NOT intend to use nuclear weapons when he invades the sovereign nation of Iran, because radioactive oil is very hard to refine. The source said that Bush personally ordered that all warplanes be equipped with "smart bombs" retrofitted with enough Fleet enemas to, in Bush's words, "Blow the shit out of any of them Persian rug-heads that tries to stop us".
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Fox News motto--"Fairly unbalanced, and rightly so"
You know, they're hardly unique. They're just one part of the "owned media", the right-wing "spin machine" that spews the "ordure du jour" like a synchronized sphincter team.
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The latest Defense Appropriations bill includes $20 billion for "plastic Jesuses", to replace the standard sights currently in use on all rifles. A DOD official, when asked by a Senate commitee to justify the request, explained that since God is on our side, using "Jesus sights" to guide our bullets would improve our kill rate by an estimated 1000%, ensuring our victory over the Infidels. He went on to clarify that if enough of the "Jesus sights" could not be produced, a "Pat Robertson" model could be substituted.
Senators McCain and Clinton immediately pledged to support the request.
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The Statue of Liberty is in the news. The Department of Immigration and Naturalization has announced that the venerable symbol of freedom and hope to generations of people entering America for a new life is being moved to the Mexican border, where it will see duty as a surveillance tower and sniper post. The plaque just inside the entrance that says "...give me your tired, your poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free..." will remain, "just for a chuckle", according to a spokesman.
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AAhhh-time to eat!