Friday, December 14, 2007

HEY! Look at this! It's the new GAGLIGHT puker inducer!

With funding from The Department of Homeland Security, a company called Intelligent Optical Systems, Inc. has produced a new kind of flashlight, which functions by casting a light beam of pre-programmed wavelengths which change rapidly to cause dis-orientation and NAUSEA. I'm not sure it has a formal name yet, but I think naming it "THE GAGLIGHT" would be sheer marketing genius.

Here is a link to a piece at News Sophisticate blog, with videos.

Assuming that you followed the link, you will understand that, despite the official line, there can be only one intended target for these devices, and it's not likely to be an unruly group of AlQaeda fighters marching in front of the White House. No, dear readers, it's you poor retches (sorry) who will be spewing if you dare assemble to exercise the free speech rights you used to have.

Anyway, I've already thought of another practical way that the Gaglight can be used. Wouldn't it make the perfect gift for that special bulimic on your Christmas shopping list?

Send me $5,000 and I'll try to get one for you before Christmas.


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