Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Back Up--"I got 'im,Bessie! Bessie?"

At last I'll be able to sleep knowing that I'm totally safe in my own bed, thanks to an ingenious new invention called the Back Up, a bed-mounted gun rack which allows you instant access to your shotgun. You can blast anyone to bits from a sitting position in bed. Thanks to Gun Guys.com for the link to the ad, here.

$39.95 for paranoid freaks who are so consumed by fear that they actually imagine a need for this product. Here's a scenario that is far more likely to occur than any other:

You're sleeping soundly and wake to a noise. The room is dark, and you're a little dis-oriented, but you grab your trusty lead-slinger and take aim at the doorway. You see a movement and fire away at the burglar/terrorist/rapist/murderer and then realize that you just killed your spouse/child/grandchild/dog/cat.

Can you say "buyers remorse"?

For those folks who are unfettered by sanity, the company is working on an expanded model line which will include "instant- response" gun racks for bunk beds, hammocks, cribs, sleeping bags, futons, recliners, adjustable beds, sofas, toilets, and best of all, school desks. Call for pricing and availability. Quantity discounts for school systems and universities.

Only in America.

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