Thursday, April 26, 2007

Eau de Dough--It's Heaven scent

Play those suckers like a heavenly harp! Some imaginative types have introduced a new perfume called Virtue. It's designed to suck bucks from the uber-gullible, like Fundamentalist Republicans who'll believe anything they're told as long as it sounds good.
I picked this up from the Pensito Review:

Is That Christ I Smell?
Posted by Trish Apr. 26, 2007, 11:18 am

Want to literally smell divine? Thanks to a new perfume, which supposedly mimics the scent given off by Christ and the saints, you can!
The makers of “Virtue” say they were guided by the Lord in picking their product’s name, ingredients — including apricot, fig, pomegranate, frankincense, and myrrh — logo and bottle design. Who knew Jesus was such a marketing whiz?
We turned to the Bible and let Spirit guide us through the process of picking and choosing the right elements to include in the fragrance…
What was right? When the Spirit let us know, through both, an inner knowing and outer worldly confirmation. The worldly confirmation was a process of holding to our Inspirations, even when our “deadlines” were not met. Holding our Faith, when money and circumstances were not always in alignment with our intent to move ahead. Even, when our suppliers delayed us by either internal practices or personal bias.
Well isn’t that commendable? These folks soldiered on because it was their mission to bring a new perfume to the world. A perfume that costs only $80 per 1.7 ounce bottle. And for which Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover, and PayPal are accepted. I’m inspired!
The thing is, you want to smell right when you commune with your creator.
…if you choose to use is as it’s creators intended, it’s a simple matter. Spray your wrist(s) and prepare yourself to begin a spiritual practice that you are familiar with; prayer, meditation, contemplation, etc…
All the while, Feel, in the Stillness, the Presence that is your Spiritual Self. Smell your wrist. Let Virtue’s scent wrap this Awareness with it’s unique character that is slowly transitioning into your own Signature version of Virtue®. In time, your association with the fragrance will give you the ability to transition to a Spiritually Centered state, almost instantaneously. For Christians, we call this practicing the Presence of God, the Holy Spirit or Christ. Being Christ Centered.
Jesus should lead them to a good copywriter.
Fundraising opportunities are available, in case your church or faith-based initiative wants to buy into this hooey. In the meantime, the makers are getting on beauty pageant sponsor lists by awarding bottles to winners in the Miss Anaheim and Miss California contests.
The only fragrance I’m sniffing is horseshit — and bald greed. ( end)

Anything for a buck. Personally, I wouldn't buy this without a notarized certificate of authenticity signed by God Himself, but sometimes I get a little cynical. I should realize that these people would never lie about being guided by the Lord, but my faith isn't strong enough. If you want to get some though, you have my blessing. You'll go straight to Heaven when you die, and will smell so good that God will probably make a pass at you. Really!

No comments: